Lethal Weapon 4: Double D's

So doctors in Germany and Australia are experiementing with a new material for breast implanets: titanium. That's right; the material used on the space shuttle is soon to be supporting the breasts of women near you.

The main benefit of using titanium as a coating around silicone gel (in mesh or thin coating form, according to http://english.pravda.ru/main/18/90/360/13404_breast.html and http://www.docshop.com/2007/05/14/titanium-breast-implants-the-ultimate-underwire/) is that titanium is biocompatible, meaning that it doesn't cause allergic reactions, inflammation or scarring. Plus it's super-strong. Scientists are still working out the kinks to ensure no more saline leakages, but if it's good enough for the space shuttle...!

Titanium implants are already used for dental implants, hip balls and sockets, and orthopedic implants. So I suppose it isn't as weird as it first sounds. But I can't help thinking about the increased security in American airports. Amongst other new rules, anything which could be construed as a weapon must be checked in. No scissors, knitting needles, toenail clippers, eyelash curlers, spiky shoes, looooong fingernails... and metal breats. 'Cause let's face it... a woman with Madonna-style titanium cones really COULD poke an eye out! And if there is an emergency or a fall or something, someone might hit his/her head on the woman's chest, possibly causing bruising and/or a concussion. Plus, imagine a woman going through airport security, and having to explain why she's naked and the metal detector is still going off.... So woman with titanium breasts may need to have zippers surgically implanted too... so they can check their breasts at the airport!